


My Ray of Sunshine

by deanisbiandsoami



Series: It's a dark, dark World [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blind Dean, Deanna's mental health is not on top, F/M, Fluff, I don't know if it's biologically even possible, I promise there will be a happy ending!!!, Kinda, Musician Dean, a bit - Freeform, it's fluffy though, should be though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanisbiandsoami/pseuds/deanisbiandsoami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deanna's happy. Most of the time. She's pretty much okay with being blind... that is when she's not afraid of the dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Ray of Sunshine

_“I’m sorry, Deanna“ The doctor said. “You will not be able to see again._

_She’d been only eight. It wasn’t that surprising, though. She’d been born with only 40% visual acuity and it had been getting worse with every year. Her parents tried everything, driving her from one doctor to the next all around the country._

_The last thing they tried was a surgery most of the doctors had proposed – of course, with a warning of risks. That’s what took the last bit of her visual acuity away. She didn’t miss much, seeing as she never really saw much even with glasses – which she had always hated. She missed the light. Like a lot. She was afraid of the dark and now her whole world was black._

_The thing keeping her from falling was, Sammy and music, her guitar and her voice – She’d wished for one when she’d been only six years old - when she played, she closed her eyes and it was as if she could see again. She spent hours bent over her guitar, remembering, while playing soft melodies she made up._

_She remembered the hours she’d spent in meadows and on beaches or in the Impala, playing her own melodies and now and then interrupted by little Sammy pulling on one of the strings and giggling._

_He was four years younger than Deanna and a little ray of sunlight. She loved him._

_They moved to Sioux Falls for a new start and they stayed there._

 

-16 years old-

“Come on, Danna!” Sam called from downstairs. “I’ve got a test today and need to be in school sooner!”

“Calm down.” Deanna answered, coming down the stairs.

“My bag?” she asked. Sam handed her the backpack and they left together, Sam holding her hand and leading her along the sidewalk. It was only a five minutes walk.

“DEANNA! SAM!” They heard Charlie call as they turned around the last corner.

“Hey, Charlie.” Deanna said, taking Charlie’s hand and letting go of Sam’s.

"Sammy?" She asked. 

"Yeah?" Her brother answered.

"Good luck with the test"

"Thanks Danna" Sam said. She smiled at the nickname. When he'd been little Sam hadn't been able to actually pronounce her name so he'd always said D'anna and that kind of stayed.

 

As soon as Sam left, Charlie started talking. Fast. Sometimes Deanna had trouble keeping up with her thoughts.

"Honestly, Dee, how do you look so good?" Charlie asked. Deanna shrugged and then Charlie was already talking again.

"Seriously. I spend like half an hour in the bathroom - your locker" She interrupted herself when they stopped "-fighting with eyeliner and mascara and my hair and you look like a supermodel everyday!" Deanna sighed as her fingers ran over the backs of her books, trying to find English.

"I'm not doing anything but shower" She said "And it's not about looks." She added.

"I know, it's just really frustrating sometimes." Deanna placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"You look lovely." She said and Charlie laughed.

"Thank you" She answered and then walked Deanna to her English class.

 

"Hello, Deanna." She heard a familiar deep voice and then felt a hand slip into hers. She intertwined their fingers.

"Hey, Cas." She hummed and leaned into him. Cas pressed a chaste kiss onto her lips and she smiled. Then Cas pulled them to their usual seats in the back.

 

School was boring. Same as every week. With Cas to Science, with Jo to Arts, with Charlie to Spanish and then to History and with Cas to Maths. 

During lunch she talked to Sam - who of course aced the test - and then Music - which was mostly sitting in the room and doing whatever you wanted as long as it had something to do with music. Deanna would sit in a corner and play guitar. Either a made up melody or a song from memory.

 

Deanna actually was happy on days like this. But there were other days. Days when she doesn't get up or doesn't dress. Days when Sam comes into her room and asks what's wrong and then she just says "It's too dark." and Sam pulls her into his arms, burying his face in her hair.

 

One day like that was after Cas had stayed the night when she was seventeen. Cas woke up after Deanna, what startled him. It was Sunday and she loved to sleep long. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Morning…" He mumbled. 

"Let go." She said he voice trembling.

"Deanna?" He asked, his arm still around her waist. She was almost panting, her jaw clenched and her heart racing.

"Let go." She said again, louder but her voice cracked. She blinked rapidly and then screamed, kicking the blanket off her and practically fleeing the bed. 

"What-?" Cas started. He hadn't been with her on a bad morning. Deanna screamed again and collapsed against the wall. Then the door flew open and Cas saw Sam, his eyes darting from Cas to Deanna, who'd slid down to the floor, hands buried in her hair and elbows resting on her knees. Sam kneeled down next to her and reached out.

"Don't-" Cas warned, remembering her reaction to his arm around her waist. Sam pulled her against his chest, not listening to Cas and she buried her face in his shirt, her whole body turning to him. Cas stared incredulously. _Was this about him?_

"It's too dark, Sammy." Deanna sobbed and Sam held her tighter as Cas' eyes widened.

"It's okay, Danna." Sam muttered into her hair. "I'm here." He rubbed a hand over her back and she moved closer to him. He was already as tall as her even though he was only thirteen… and Deanna wasn't short. Castiel was still staring when Deanna's breaths were even again.

"Shower?" Sam asked. She nodded and he helped her up.

  

"Did I-?" Cas asked when the shower was running.

"No, It's not about you, Cas." Sam assured him. "She's got days like this when she's afraid of the darkness again. Mom and Dad can't calm her down either. Somehow she only reacts to me… I'm not gonna ask why." Cas nodded.

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" He asked.

"Don't doubt her feelings." Sam said _and damn, why did this kid know everything?_ "She hates appearing weak and she doesn't like pity." Sam explained. Cas nodded. He knew that.

 

"I'm sorry, Cas." Deanna said when she sat down at the breakfast table. "It hasn't been this bad in months."  She added.

"Why Sam?" Cas asked, causing John and Sam to glare at him. Mary looked at Deanna worriedly. Deanna smiled.

"Stop glaring, bitch." She said pointing in Sam's vague direction.

"Jerk." Her younger brother muttered. Deanna turned to Cas and took his hand.

"I can remember light… and colours better when I'm with Sam." She said and turned her head back to Sam. "Your face is the only one I remember." She added, Sam's jaw dropping. "Sorry, Mom, Dad. I just… I was so happy when Sam was born. It showed me that you were happy even though I was almost blind and… from then on he was kinda the only one I looked at." She explained.

"You should have asked me about that earlier" She pointed out after a few moments of silence.

 

\- to be continued - 


End file.
